Stop seducing me
Guess my topic and you won't be surprised? About singleness, what else? lol
I'm single and I'm okay. Have been freed from unrequited love for quite some time, and I love the freedom. Seriousy, I'm okay. I'm actually loving no one but just myself. I'm not even pining a certain someone. I have crushes, but that's just it. Nothing more, nothing less. I ache sometimes when I see them with a girl, a wife, or a hook-ups. But the ache goes away when I'm not entertaining them in my consciousness.
As you can see, some married guy is seducing me (at least in my opinion and perspective) by being so nice and welcoming to me. I don't see him often. I'm actually avoiding him, and anything related about him. I don't intend to blow him, or seek him. I don't even intend to take him away from his wife, who works abroad, and his son (my former pupil) and a newly born. He is just the most good looking guy so far I actually meet in person. And he is so nice to me. Something I find very weird. How could such a handsome, very masculine, married straight guy gives me such kind of attention?
Most guys I know are somewhat maintaining a "distance" from me, for fear of being seduced cause you see I'm fairy good looking. So these straight guys are kind of afraid to even have a slightest attraction to me so they completely shut their homosexual tendencies by ignoring me, being so harsh to me, or hating me. And most of ugly straight guys I know are just insecure. lol But this handsome married guy is different. Why are you so nice? Okay, is it because I'm a former teacher of your son.?But as you see, I'm already resigned. I teach no more. I work in that school no more.
You've been in my mind lately after that incident in the mall two days ago when you greeted me from nowhere. Imagining that we will be having an illicit affair chokes me. I never want to be a mistress, or a sexual toy for a married guy who longs for her wife who works afar. you may be the most handsome guy I met so far, but you are just another guy like the rest of them. I actually don't understand straight guys who engage in homosexual affair secretly. Most people think it's about money. I don't think so. They love it! It's just an excuse to maintain a "macho" front of not taking a same-sex relationship seriously. And for you Mr. Married Guy, thank you for that attention. Thank you for being nice, but I hope not to see you anymore. I don't intend to fall for you, and never will I. Stop seducing me in my imagination.
I am loving no one but myself. Before, I used to envy hetero couples for having one another. I even envy some same-sex couple who actually fights for each other against all odds. But now, I'm just so N-U-M-B. I am loving no one but myself. Anyway, I got my hands, my penis, and a laptop with internet connection. I have access to a variety of pornographic videos (both homos and hetero). At this stage, it's just all about lust and nothing but lust. I can't be in love, and I won't. And you people who's forcing me to like a girl, enough! I won't listen anyway.
I'm not in love and I'm not wishing anyone in my life. I get lonely sometimes, but I'm fine.